Ebay Funded Study Reflects Badly On Ebay Sellers

San Jose CA—In a surprising refutation of the conventional wisdom on opinion entitlement, a study conducted by the University of San Jose for Behavioral Science, and 100 percent funded by John Donahoe, Ebay CEO, concluded that more than 99% of Ebay sellers are neither entitled nor qualified to have opinions.


my opinion counts, nanny nanny boo boo!

"It came as a shock to me, I would have believed the number to be in the 96 percentile area of sellers that are bone head stupid." John said.

"On topics from Sponsored Ads to Detailed Star Ratings to Best Match to Feedback, we found that many of the opinions expressed by Ebay sellers were so off-base and ill-informed that they actually hurt Ebay by being voiced," said chief researcher Professor Peter Putz, who based their findings, solely and strictly, on the staggering sum of funds received from John Donahoe to conduct the study.

"While people have long asserted that it takes all kinds, this research shows that the Ebay community currently has a drastic oversupply of the kinds of sellers who don't have any intelligent or worthwhile thoughts whatsoever. We could actually do just fine without them, and we're going to do just that." John said.

"This study proves what I've stated all along, 98% of Ebay sellers are dumb and feel they are due some type of entitlement from Ebay. They're not. Their only purpose on my site is to feed the gorilla, and I am the Alpha A gorilla." stated puffy chested John.
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Disclosure: Fabricated rings of truth.